Something is missing…
The box-hauling guy just delivered my copy of The Nature of Middle-earth. Curiously, the dust jacket of my copy bears no hint of the title of the book. I guess the publishers have decided the author’s name is sufficient, just this once.
When I get a new book of nonfiction my ritual begins by protecting the spine the way my mother taught me: set the spine on the table; take about 20 leaves of each end and press them down flat; repeat until the book lies open in front of me. It hasn’t been necessary in years, but we know what happens to those who forsake the mos maiorum. Then I look in the table of contents for anything amusingly weird (this is the mos mei). What do you know — there’s a chapter on “Beards”!
We all know about elves, hobbits, and dwarves, but this chapter tells us what we need to know about Numenoreans. Namely, that elvish blood in the noble houses meant that the really high-ranking Gondorians and Arnorians didn’t have beards. Though neither Tolkien nor Hostetter says it, it’s clear that a part of the ennoblement of Men, given to them by the Elves, was the suppression of facial hair. Hirsute scruffiness is the antithesis of ennoblement.
Pace a certain influential Kiwi, Boromir, Faramir, and Aragorn didn’t even need to shave. Come to think of it, neither do most Native Americans. Those proto-trolls who raised such a stink about Aragorn looking like an Native American in Ralph Bakshi’s film have been proven wrong again.
Nota bene
The fact that your Idiosopher couldn’t grow a beard to save his life has absolutely no bearing on the content of this post.
Tom Hillman
Imagine what scornful amusement it must cause the dwarves that the hoity toity elves cannot grow beards
Joe
It has to do with altitude above ground level, no doubt.
Daniel Stride
I’m still waiting for my copy, of course, but it does occur to me that this means that Viggo Mortensen will be the last bearded Aragorn to appear in a Tolkien adaptation. I must say also that this forces me to change my image of Denethor – whom I had always visualised as bearded on account of Pippin’s “looks like a great wizard” line.
I myself am one of those people who starts showing Five O’Clock Shadow mere hours after shaving.
Joe
Your beard is on Eastern Standard Time!
Kenneth Willis
😂